Monday, October 3, 2011

Mourning into Dancing

Driving home after midnight on Friday night, knowing we were only able to finish burning and mailing half the required DVDs, we all assumed this meant our entry would not be accepted. We still don't know if it will be allowed to enter the competition. You can imagine how easy it was to be discouraged. We all worked so hard, especially Lisa and Caleb who did the computer part of the editing. There had been so many obstacles, yet it seemed God allowed us to overcome every one. I felt so confused. God could have kept us in the dark about the September 30 deadline, but He did not. He could have prevented us from finishing the film, but He did not. He could have kept Richard Rector from finishing his music, but He did not. He could have not brought the Horners to us at the eleventh hour to help finish the music, but He did. Is it ironic to anyone else that a burning wildfire didn't derail us, but a burning computer disk did? So why were we not able to burn a DVD?  I don't know, and that's what confused me. We kept taking the next step, until midnight. So, what now?

By the grace of God, we prayed. Weary, disappointed, and confused, we prayed. As Randy was praying, he quoted something Pastor Voddie said that we used in the film (It was so hard to limit 30 hours of film to 81 minutes!) Pastor Voddie reminds us that the adoption is about the child, that adoptive parents are making themselves "available" to adopt a child. But if, in the providence of God, He chooses for that child to stay with his birth mother, or to go to another adoptive family, then we have to "celebrate God's Providence", even when it doesn't feel good. "If you can't say "Amen!", you oughta say, "Ouch!."

And that's when it happened. Who are we to say what's best for this film? Who are we to say what needs to happen next? What if God has other plans for this film? Other venues where it will be seen? What if the process we went through to finish the film and the sanctification God has wrought was the goal? Who are we to question? One of the things that grieved me (Pat) most was that God's grace enabled me to trust Him with my mother's eternity last February, but somehow I didn't want to trust His decision about this film. That's when God turned our mourning into dancing. I just started weeping. Not because of sadness or disappointment, but rejoicing, because God turned my heart from confusion and disappointment to peaceful trust in His plan. God's loving kindness is everlasting.

And here we rest, confidant that God will do what is best. We will wait to see if SAICFF accepts our entry into the competition. Caleb and Lisa will begin making some sound and color edits that they weren't able to finish before the deadline, and we hope to have a showing for family and friends, maybe next month. We will try other avenues to share this message with others. And we will wait on Him and what He will do.

Oh, and look to our next film project, Lord willing.

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